picture of om bha nye, tashiyangtse

discovering myself

i am not how you see me as. i am complicated. its hard for me to understand myself. i am scared of no one but myself the most.

Dear mom



Mom…

Mom you have gifted me a gift who can never ever gift me in my entire life.

It is very precious and I will take care of it. I am sure it was very painful for you. Holding on to it you have gave it to me.

Mom I must have made you worry most of the time. I must have made you go hungry at times. I must have gave you sleepless nights, yet it was out of innocence.

It is now that I realise all your scolding was your love and care. If you were acting kind and pampered me I would have not known the reality of the world.

Thank you dear mom for giving me this gift of LIFE. I can never repay you, yet let me love you to the fullest.

Love you mom..

blank

blank mind,back to college
just worries and fears

 Who am I? What am I doing here? Where am I heading for?

Bhutan is a country where human welfare is deeply placed above all else. Thrived under the visionary and benevolent rulers of the monarchy, the country is known for its Gross National Happiness.

Many of us, we respond to the question with only one motive. We are literally what we actually think, and our character being the complete sum of all our thoughts. We become what we think. For instance, if we ask a kindergarten kids, ‘who are you?’ they would proudly say ‘I am  Sonam,’ or something else. But if we think profoundly, we are more than just the thing we think of. In case of me, I am the savior of the world, I am future leader, future philosopher, administrator, educated farmer, movie star, athletes, politician, warrior, reporter, educator and so on. I am just a great responsibility holder.

In this era, all Bhutanese citizens must realize that what an essential role each one of us have to render in shaping our petite country. It is our  duty to ensure that citizens from all walks of life are never afraid to voice their views and opinions, so is my purpose of being here. I am here to hold the power with empathy and sympathy to shape the perceptions and minds of our genuine citizens.

“Destiny of our country lies in the hands of our younger generation” ( His Majesty Jigme Singye Wangchuck, 1993).  I as the leader of the future, I could find in His Majesty’s reign the inspiration, motivation and example for our own road ahead. My responsibilities will always be first and foremost, to generate nurture the peace and the tranquility of our nation.

Colleges and universities are not just degree factories, producing employable graduates, but for the sake of knowledge, as well as life and business skills. The very purpose of my being here is not just for holding the degree certificate but to aspire myself to become leader within, in our schools, communities and in government so that I can be the change I wish to see.

A great deal about the future is awaiting us, so my simple instinct in serving my country by being a good human being, to learn how to become empathetic to the needs of the people, to embody the promises of future prosperity, to retain and nurture good values and its humanity, to become conscious and wielder citizen of my mental powers, to depart from enervating, indecision, unmanly and irresolute habits and to serve the Tsa Wa Sum with sincerity is my soul purpose of being here and doing in this college.

The law of harvest is to reap more than what is sown. If we sow an act, we will  reap a habit. If we sow a habit, we will reap a character. If we sow a character, we will reap a destiny. It is always factual that if we cultivate the habit of industriousness, punctuality, sociability, honesty, integrity, unity, and dignity of labour, it will lead us to the destiny we dream for so long. Our hard work will always be rewarded with the pace of the time. Serving the Tsa-Wa Sum, bearing the entrusted responsibility with equity, justice, and humanity and to do study hard to make my good career are what and where I am heading for.

{The dream}

{The dream}

How dare was I to date with the dream

Rocked for the taste of salty sweet cream

Gone was date with dream, gone too far

A bow shall now never bring them near

Tapped was I into your imaginary flow

Shrew was you yet amazing with adoring glow

Full was I, the dumb parrot with unseen stare

Seeking to see and hear through dreamy atmosphere

Happy was I shackled with your fleeting wonder

Clever were you I could now vividly remember

Glad was my heart although wept were my eyes

Unseen wool hanged over to blind your lies

Traveled was I the solitary and lonely figure

Steer was you with umbrageous far-sight nature

Stared was I the cloudy minded little spot

Thank you dear dream for your fleeting tote

Monmoti Subba

BA-Dzo_Media 'I'

{Fleeting Contentment}

{Fleeting Contentment}

     Love begins with a smile and ends up with a tear, when you travel the path of life and when you find love along your way, it makes you feel everything new and different, but it is the same old scenery; we used to see all of our time. Love has just given you the power of insight for your feelings.

      Yangsel believed to be a fortunate fellow, when he got hooked up in a relationship with Yangki, his transitory relation kept him and his heart wondering, with worldly pleasure. His wandering was but analogous to those hasting crystalline morning dews. Yangsel was oblivious that it is not at all meant to see perpetually, his happiness deceived him to realize the shower of his happiness in future. Couple of years has made their way in proving their true love and sacrifice for each other, shadow of sadness and cause of anguish did not make their way in between them to impediment their happiness.

     Song of gesture and rhythm of whisper, exploited the loud guffaw of their hearty smile; the monthly remuneration of them was good enough for them to have everything they used to crave, but the euphoric moment was running before their realization for the need of child in between them. One day, Yangsel willed up his confidence, holed his dear one at his comfy arm and with glittering smile, he uttered few but invaluable words to her, “Yangki,” ‘shall we have a child now!?’ Yangki didn’t utter even a word but just nodded her head, brimming with a smile…!  

       Three months later, the symptoms of pregnancy started to attest that Yangki is going to make Yangsel a father of a child. Knowing that, he took her to hospital for check-up with utmost happy and serene mood. Their happiness continued for another six month. 

        Six months later, it was the toughest, as well as happy time for the couple; the time for Yangsel to owe the title of father and Yangki, a title of maternity. Finally, the time of serenity has illuminated the heart of the couple, with the early greetings of yet unborn child. Though it was like upstream-swimming for Yangki but the hilarity and glamor of front foot-step and the fetter of faith, love and sacrifice they have rendered towards each other has besieged all those obstacles of her.

        It was on 30^th of September, 1988; the time hardest for Yangki to toil through and show her everyday smile for Yangsel. It was the time, when Yangki bore a daughter to Yangsel; illuminating whole of his heart with supremacy of smile. “But is it their faith that has cheated them...?’ Or is it that they were not at all meant for each other for little longer…?”  ‘It seemed that the crossroad of their faith, which has brought them together, has come to an end.’ Slowly, Yangki started to capitulate the symptoms of ailment, and serenity started to diminish in the mind of Yangsel.

      The time of tranquility has transformed itself into the time of trauma; worry of losing Yangki has made Yangsel to endure the forlorn sleepless night, no hunger, no thirst but only the source-less tears and salty sweats. It was time for the days and miles to divide them, Yangsel tried his best to cure Yangki but not an iota of the medicine has proven their strength to bring Yangki back into her normal life. She became so frail, failed even to recognize her own child and husband.

        Her speech was worse than the whisper in the air; no smile, no food, no drink but only those wide opened weeping eyes. Yangsel was left with no options, but only to knell down by Yangki and to swap away those tears of desolation and difficulties of their yesterday’s tranquil life.

      A day before the eternal leave of Yangki, Yangsel just happened to take a short nap by the side of Yangki, where he had a reverie of her; he saw that she was becoming alright and saw wearing white cloth with long cascading hair, blown away gently, by the gentle breeze. It brought him the happiness in dream but his dream remained as a dream itself. In reality, Yangki was undergoing deep soreness and was helpless to rebuff the ruthless order of the deadly death.  

       It was when she stretched out her hand for the very last time, with her last intake of breath for eternal leave; it struck the head of Yangsel, which awaken him from his fleeting dream. Yangsel called for help with hand and mouth, drenching in pound of tears, but it was too late for him, as Yangki has just slipped away for eternal liberty before his knowing.

     The time of togetherness, sharing dreams, love, live, life and laughter with hearty smile haunted him deeply day by day, after she has taken the heavenly way. The very time they have shared with the blossom of their lives has come to shrivel, leaving only those reminiscences so sweet yet strongly bitter. One roof they once lived under, sometimes with smile, sometimes with tear through those autumn storms and thunder has brought him nothing but never ending times of nostalgia.

      The years have faded fast, showing them the separate ways, like the whispering wind of summer season, for the arrival of autumn thunder, and the live whispered them the presence of death. Time has of departure has come along their way and made apart not only their secret shackle in between them, but also traumatized their very dreams, hopes, and happiness together; it has silenced their love and care with those unseen tears.

    It was after the 49^th day and after the final funeral of Yangki, Yangsel was just flipping their album, leaning on his usual quiescent place just near the sitting place of Yangki and swinging his dear daughter in her cradle. He could not comfort his eyes filling with those purls of tears, at that very moment, a small piece of paper dropped into the floor from inside the album. He picked it up with care, and mutely read it down, which conveyed the following messages of late  dear Yangki to desperate Yangsel……..

Dear my dear…

Death is nothing at all, it only meant for us and all, I have only slipped away and taken the eternal roof for liberty.  ‘’I am so sorry for leaving you behind all of a sudden’’ ‘the time of eternity has made it obligatory for me.’ ‘‘I gave you nothing that worth your love, care and the happiness you have rendered for me, but I have left for you the manacle of reminiscences in between us,’’ ‘ please nurture, give love and care to our daughter.’ ‘‘Never let her to realize the time of orphanage.’’ ‘I am sorry the time didn’t permit me to breathe and accompany you to accomplish those dreams of you; we have shared and promised to travel together through…’

Never feel forlorn and always call me by my old familiar name, always speak with me in the easiest way you used to do and put no difference in your tone. Always laugh as we always used to laugh at our little jokes and never let to overwhelm your happiness by those moments of solemnity. Never keep me out of your heart and mind, thinking that I am out of your sight.

Faith is the inauguration of the human expedition for self-discovery. Faith can be neither forced nor taught but we must respect it…Life is a strange and it tells us the strange stories. “What to do,” I don’t have a mind to leave you behind and go beyond your sight but I am helpless today. ‘Almighty did not give me the armor to trounce the death.’ I was the luckiest of all to have you as my true loving and caring partner though I was meant only with short live.

I have nothing more to say to you but I always urge you to start your live with new beginning. Set your new dreams, hopes and build your new shell of happiness. Always try to be as you were and are, never lose the lesson when you lose everything but be determined.

Always feel that I am always there with you though not personally but spiritually to travel together the trouble. My prayers and great wishes I have left for you shall always be there to cherish you during the period of emptiness. I am leaving my ever love, care and my remembrance to you my dear…. “I have left with no choice than to depart from your love for my eternal peace,” till then please pray for me to be assured with the destined destiny…

With ever love…

Yours dear

Yangki

It is universal, for death will even not prejudice the enlightened ones. We should accept the warmth of those fleeting containment but at the same time we should also evoke our thought that there is time for every wound to heal, a time of tear for our cheer, and a time of silent for our laughter. Happiness is never always our and sadness is never always others, they always circumambulates us till we leave for eternal liberty.

Monmoti Subba

BA-Dzo-Media ‘I’

{The wind}

{The wind}

Rustled, rustled the lofty leaf of my tree,

There gone one with hard out of three.

Rustled, rustled that skinny one out of two,

There left for one not hard to go.

Blew, blew off those tiny and dirty dust,

There gone squashy soil left only yellow crust.

Blew, blew the minuscule mineral of fine earth,

Now left only yellow crust and stony path.

Flattered, flattered there those silky streamer of dharma,

There gone a bit of dharma of Brahma.

To shield and to enlighten the sentient being,

Indeed a factual source of sentient beings wellbeing.

Whispered, whispered there the calm and mighty wind,

You brought feelings of dread to our mind.

You brought an aroma of far bloomed flower,

You brought us the feel of cool shower.

Monmoti Subba

BA-Dzo Media ‘I’

{The wind} Rustled, rustled the lofty leaf of my tree, There gone one with hard out of three. Rustled, rustled that skinny one out of two, There left for one not hard to go. Blew, blew off those tiny and dirty dust, There gone squashy soil left only yellow crust. Blew, blew the minuscule mineral of fine earth, Now left only yellow crust and stony path. Flattered, flattered there those silky streamer of dharma, There gone a bit of dharma of Brahma. To shield and to enlighten the sentient being, Indeed a factual source of sentient beings wellbeing. Whispered, whispered there the calm and mighty wind, You brought feelings of dread to our mind. You brought an aroma of far bloomed flower, You brought us the feel of cool shower. Monmoti Subba BA-Dzo Media ‘I’